Trauma bonding signs
But when it comes to the parent-child relationship, forming a bond is natural and pretty much immediate. It can develop over days, weeks, or months. In general, trauma bonding usually starts when the victim begins to rationalize the actions of the abuser. Trauma bonding is oftentimes the very explanation for why it isn’t that simple. People on the outside often tell victims of abuse to “just leave”. So they stay, they tolerate it, or they continue to love the very person who’s hurting them. This pattern of behavior often makes the victim confused yet hopeful that maybe things will get better. For example, after instances of abuse, many abusers would do something kind or loving or make promises to “change” or be better. The trauma bond is usually formed due to a cycle of abuse and positive reinforcement. Trauma bonding is especially common among children with narcissistic parents. In relation to the parent-child relationship, trauma bonding is an attachment abused children form for their abusive parents. This attachment is defined by dependence, sympathy, loyalty, trust, or affection the victim may feel toward the abuser. Trauma bonding is the unhealthy emotional attachment an abused person feels for their abuser. In this post, I’ll discuss what trauma bonding is and the signs of trauma bonding with abusive parents. They wonder, how can you still feel attached to someone who’s repeatedly hurt you? How can you feel any affection for your abuser? Like my husband keeps telling me, she’s my mother and I still feel attached to her it’s normal.ĭo you have trouble leaving or letting go because a part of you still loves your parent? Or do you feel tempted to or did break no contact because a part of you misses them? But I reminded myself – it’s not my fault. But I felt instant regret and shame once she started attacking me. I’ve gone no contact with my mother for almost a year. So it’s no surprise if you still feel attached to your parents despite how they’ve hurt you. You were born defenseless to your parents who you were meant to bond with. And when it comes to your parents, trauma bonding seems even more likely to happen. Trauma bonding can occur in any abusive situation.